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09 Feb What We Learn About Hearing God from a Valentine
A single friend of mine used to “go on a date with Jesus”. She would mark the event in her diary, set the table for two, light a candle and pray for the evening. I understood the sentiment, but still found it a little cringeworthy. Jesus doesn’t sit opposite you at a restaurant and compliment you on your outfit. He doesn’t tenderly hold your hand over dinner and he certainly doesn’t kiss you goodnight. Even the well-worn phrase “I love you Jesus” can sit oddly from an outsider’s perspective. Sociologists describe Christians as having an ‘imaginary friend’ and I can understand why. How do you envisage a relationship with an invisible deity?
Our Metaphorical Groom
I think this is why metaphors are used so often in the Scriptures to make sense of our relationship with God. They’re an effective way to aid our understanding of a phenomena that can be difficult to describe. Each metaphor acts to highlight a different element of the relationship. For example, the metaphor of father-child (Matthew 7:11) reminds us of God’s protective and nurturing nature and our trusting responsive heart, the metaphor of king-servant (1 Corinthians 4:1) reminds us of God’s sovereignty and power and our need to reverence him as beneficiary, the metaphor of a shepherd-sheep (John 10:27) reminds us of the God who personally leads and guides and our role to follow.
Yet out of all the metaphors that are used (and there’s plenty more), the image of bride and groom is the most common (e.g. Isaiah 62:5) and we have to ask why. As we celebrate Valentine’s Day this week, what is it about this particular metaphor that we can learn from when we think of our relationship with God and the conversations we have with him?
A Relationship that Takes Time
One thing we see is that relationships take time and it is as true with God as it is with any human lover. You get to know the character of your beau through shared experience. You get to know their likes and dislikes through watching their behaviour. But it doesn’t happen overnight. We’re never fully vulnerable on the first date.
The same dynamic applies with God. The first steps with him are often tentative. You start with the smaller topics of conversation and gradually open up to the deeper ones. You begin opening your heart and pulling down the masks. The relationship begins to grow.
From God’s end, it’s much the same. He starts with the basics. He’ll speak of his key traits, his love for us and how it applies to who we are. In time he’ll share more of what’s on his heart, he’ll open up about his plans and entrust us with greater spheres of understanding.
With time comes trust. At first you hear about how he has related to others. You see it with your community and friends. You hear about it in the stories of history from the Scriptures. Then as you walk with him, your trust begins to grow. As the relationship builds, you’ll be able to hear him say the harder things. When he asks you to do something you find difficult, you’ll know his character enough to step out with him knowing the outcome will only be good. Soon, you’ll pick up on the nuances of his actions, you’ll know his thoughts without even asking, you’ll see his hand more clearly as he entrusts more of his heart.
Love God, Love Others
The beautiful irony about developing your relationship with God is that the skills and truths you learn communicating with him will overflow into your human relationships. Loving God will help you love others. Receiving love from him will help you receive love from others. Growing in our relationship with God enables us to fulfil the two greatest commandments (Matthew 22:37-39) and that’s a good reason to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
For More: Want to get better at hearing God’s voice? Listen to podcast 036 How to Get Better at Hearing God’s Voice!
Stephanie du Plessis
Posted at 00:43h, 21 FebruaryHi Tania,
I made a cup cake for Jesus once, (ok I didn’t actually make the cup cake I bought it) my first Christmas after I got saved. I waited until midnight lit the candle, sang happy birthday and waited for “Him” to blow the candle out. it was such a “silly” thing to do but at the time it meant something between us. A few years later on my 16 bday, my father never phoned me, he forget my bday. I remember feeling as if a piece of my heart had been ripped out, how could he forget his own child’s bday.
it was ok when it was still the morning of my bday cause I mean he could still call right? as the day went buy I just ended up telling people he called cause they kept on asking. That night I was so heart broken that I went to the park where I always found I could speak to God without hiding from Him.
I cried… and I remember asking God if He would ever forget about me? if he still had a plan for me? if he still loved me? All of a sudden the memory of me sitting in that same park with my cup cake on Christmas singing Happy bday came to mind. I almost heard a whisper in a breeze asking me if I remember that day, I said yes of cause how can I forget? it was my first Christmas after I got saved. then I heard the question…”So how can I forget you? if you remember that moment so clearly How can I forget?” How can I not love you? How can I not want the best for you? I stayed out there for hours just talking to God, we joked, we laughed, I cried so more and my bday ended up being the best one because I had those memories to look back too.
My relationship with God is so different from what I seem to hear people talk about some times, that at one stage it made me question if it was real. I read about all the different ways of people relating to God like the once u mentioned and its hard for me to say yip that’s the one that reminds me of my relationship with him. Is that even possible??
Tania Harris
Posted at 08:41h, 27 FebruaryHi Stephanie, I think that we can only grasp at what the experience is like on behalf of others. Everyone has their own relationship and each one is unique. Sometimes too God expresses himself differently depending on what we need – like for you when God has revealed himself as a perfect father who doesn’t forget your birthday!
Stephanie du Plessis
Posted at 17:03h, 27 FebruarySo true, you know when i only had one child i started understanding the concept of free will and unconditional love. I wanted the best for her and still do but i understood that there will be times that no matter how strong my love is she will still choose to go a different way. But i will always be right there when she falls to comfort. Then i had another one and thought how will love the second one? Will i have to choose? And then from that first moment he laid on my chest i knew i loved him the same but differently. I cant explain it. I love them both the same but differently if that makes sense. It made me understand hiw Gid can love the whole world the same but yet also differntly.
Tania Harris
Posted at 05:10h, 28 FebruaryYou’re a wise mother Steph x
Wayne Robert
Posted at 11:00h, 13 FebruaryThanks Tania, encouraging. Great photo! Cringeworthy learnt a new interesting word for my vocab. :-)
Tania Harris
Posted at 11:16h, 13 FebruaryLOL, so glad to hear Wayne – I’m all for extending our vocabulary…
Wayne Robert
Posted at 15:50h, 22 JulyTania been thinking re: metaphor. Ideas matter, our words create within us faith, belief structures etc. Interesting, that such a concept ‘metaphor’ (figurative) which says it is a resemblance but not literally applicable is so widely used in preacher speak. I have a problem with this idea. I see numerous Scriptures that state we are the sons and daughters of God, that it is applicable, that it is not merely a resemblance but an actuality :-). I am not writing to correct you rather I would appreciate your feedback sometime once you return from your many ‘wanderings’, I am happy to be corrected, to hear what the Spirit is saying and to hear your thoughts on this post;
I teach it is not a metaphor but a reality, actuality, our position in Christ, His Spirit is within us. To me, this is a problem in the Body of Christ, in theology and therefore in practice. People tend to see this as a metaphor (not a reality) rather than a literal reality that can be lived out in their daily lives which means a different relationship to the world and those in our sphere of influence.
Now I do agree with what you had to say, as usual you craft it well,
“father-child (Matthew 7:11) reminds us of God’s protective and nurturing nature and our trusting responsive heart,” Hhhhmm! “Your Father who is in heaven”. Is He our Father (Luke 3:38)?
I enjoy your teaching. So I would like to know what I’m missing, not seeing. I realise there is more to this than my position. I think it is much stronger than a metaphor.
Consider, Jesus, the so called Lord’s Prayer ‘Our Father’ (Matt 6:9) our approach to God is on the basis of Father and His being the KIng of Kings, the Lord’s prayer is about family relations and Kingdom relations which are one in Him; 1 John 3:1 & 2 “called the children of God”, “Beloved we are the children of God” etc. This is not a metaphor, He is our Father who has begotten us in Christ, born anew in His Kingdom.
Rom 8:15,23; in the same manner Jesus cried Abba Father (Mark 14:36), was this a metaphor? I don’t think so, the theme of both Jesus and the Apostles from Law to adoption as sons and daughters declares our position as Gal 4:5, verse 6 state because you are sons ( I add and daughters) God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out “Abba, Father” Therefore verse 7. Eph 1:5.
Now Tania, I have no desire to throw Scriptures at you to justify my position. Rather I hope in my sharing I make it a little clear where I am coming from. For me it is personal. I found myself without a father at age 12. In those days divorce and separation were much rarer than today. Out of my class of 42 students in year 7, I was the only student had a single parent. IN that year I made a decision to follow Jesus. In the little AoG church I attended about a 4th of the youth group came from broken families. In the midst of my teenage years, all I wanted was a father. An Earthly father never happened! In my early teens, I cried out in prayer on many occasions for a father. One evening, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart as I was reading the Psalms He was my Father (Ps 68:5 -6). A peace pervaded my inner me, a joy took a hold of my soul, delivered me from the anxiety of wanting because something marvellous happened, that only Father God could do! God the maker of heaven and earth was my ‘daddy’, Abba Father. It never worried me again. I was instantly at peace and it has been so for many years. Yes, I grew in knowing Father and my relationship with Father developed into intimacy; it is ever doing so.
Methaphors can’t do that, Tania. I have lived in the light of that revelation for over 50 years. I have been content, ; Father has always been there for me, blessed me, provided for me, been my constant companion. Indeed when my marriage diintegrated 17 years ago and I became a single parent I made sure I represented Father God as the Daddy who is always there to my children. So that is why I take issue with this metaphor stuff. Peace and blessings in Abba :-)
Wayne
Tania Harris
Posted at 15:55h, 23 JulyHey Wayne,
I love the truth and power of your experience, thank you so much for sharing. We are absolutely on the same page re that.
I think it may be semantics more than anything. Ah the beauty of metaphor! I would say the truth to which the metaphor literally speaks is absolutely a reality. Positionally we are sons and daughters to God, our heavenly father/parent. But the metaphor only holds true in some aspects, not all. He didn’t literally give us birth through a physical womb in the way we understand here on earth. He is not literally our bridegroom in the way we have on earth, he is not literally an earthly king or a shepherd or a rock. But those metaphors illustrate something of the truth of who he is. Describing it as a metaphor is an earthly way of describing a spiritual reality and in no way contradicts the truth of the image. At least that is the way I am using metaphor here. Does that help?
Wayne Robert
Posted at 16:50h, 24 JulyTania
Brilliant, to the point and clear, yes, your explanation helps to understand the way you use metaphor. You are correct to say re: Father, Shepherd, King, and Bridegroom etc. is not the way we use it on Earth. There is a heavenly, Eternal and spiritual reality transcending the Earthly. He is our Bridegroom not as on Earth. I am a part of the Bride of Christ (:-) me, a male), an interesting thought I have ponder upon for 50 years and I love the thought. Is the Eternal reality reflected upon Earth in our inadequate understanding? To understand, we take the things we know to explain the Eternal in our short existence. I accept this is practical and needed to relate to God … isn’t that what Jesus came to do? Is it more correct to call it a parable than a metaphor? Questions that cannot be answered; in my opinion are great cognitive exercises but not crucial to be defined except they clarify our relationship with the Divine. The reality, as I said in Father is better :-). I am comfortable with not understanding all. Tania, ’tis a faith thing that works in practice for me, to relate and to understand God. There is no Earthly explanation to satisfy how that can be, except as human beings we consist of male and female hormones from the God who made us and from whom we come. What is God really like? Endless questions, I enjoy delving into as long as they enhance my relationship and practice of Father, Son and Spirit in my life and the lives of those with whom I have to do. So here endeth, the discourse, even though incomplete :-) . Thank you for answering, explaining and being gracious in your response. Appreciate. May your ministry ever abound in His goodness, grace and greatness. What you have to say is crucial for the Body of Christ … another metaphoric parable LOL. One must have a sense of humour
Tania Harris
Posted at 07:36h, 07 AugustThank you Wayne! Amen to that. I do believe God is far greater than our comprehension and yet, he came a long way to show us what he is like in Jesus. Our language including our metaphors (!), are always limited yet Jesus came down to our level and spoke our language so that we could understand. I love that about him! Blessings
Wayne Robert
Posted at 11:52h, 07 AugustTania, by the way I mailed Loren Cunningham’s book “Is that really you, God?’ to you a few weeks ago. Right on your topic. Thought you would find it interesting. Not sure if I put the correct mail address :-) no worries.